Big screen - a magical illusion
There must be no one who has not fallen into this trap. Some try hard and end up doing other jobs. Some hold on and survive with experience and influence. Others are brimming with their own talent.
Long time ago, this circle of desire influenced me too. When I looked in the mirror, I felt I was born to be an actor even though I was a little thin. And dark complexion is not a crime, aren't all Indians somewhat dark?
Meanwhile One day I saw an advertisement in the newspaper. A young actor required for Fazil's film..Those who are interested can send bio data including good photos.
I went immediately to Appukuttan. Appukuttan was the main hair stylist of our locality. He wore thick glasses or soda glasses.
I always got the same hair cut-monkey crop cut. Because Mom wanted it that way.Even nails she used to trim to the maximum extent possible. But at some point my father decided that his son can get a summer cut. For that also AppuKuttan was our go to stylist.
So before taking photos, he did some styling on my hair. Now I was ready for the photo shoot. I took two pair of clothes from home and went to the studio.
The studio guy was very happy. There were no one..I was his victim. He photographed me in many poses. I was happy thinking that just by seeing these pics, Fasil would call me. But when the pictures were printed I was looking like some joker.But the studio guy assured me it came out good. So I sent it to Fazil with high hopes.
I Waited. But neither a call nor any reply to my letter.
Years passed. I was Studying in Kottayam. There was a film shooting going on.
It was for a Doordarshan serial..Anything is fine even serial will work , let's give it a try.
A junior friend also reached the junction where they were shooting in the sun.
We asked someone on the set if they would give us a chance to act. Suddenly the answer was why not. That moment, I was in love with my own appearance. But my love disappeared the next moment. Because the role was nothing..A car comes and hits the heroine, we had to take her and put her in the jeep..My friend said whatever the scene, let's do it.. He told we may get more scenes in the hospital.
But we got nothing as the hospital scenes were shot with just the heroine.
So it came on Doordarshan that the serial would be telecasted during Onam..I told everyone at home, finally that big day arrived. But that day, there was a big argument going on in the house..dad and mom were arguing about things that happened twenty or thirty years ago.. in Between this, the serial started. I called dad mom saying now my scene will come, please come and see. But who will listen when strong arguments are happening . But I saw myself for a flash of a second, like a shadow in the tv serial.
That friend who was with me is now in Singapore. He is anchoring Asianet's programs. Also doing tele films. He has not given up on his desire, he may become a hero one day. All the best to him.
All the 90s era was over. The era was getting colorful. Jairam started fading out and Dileep's movies were running as hit movies. Once again I came across an ad, Young people needed for a new film. Those who are interested should reach a hotel in the near by town.
How can I leave this like that. I thought may be this is the opportunity for me . So I got dressed up and went to the hotel.
The place was crowded as if it was a wedding. I sat there till evening..suddenly got called inside. A mimicry artist who looked like Dileep was interviewing .He told me to act. I showed him a lot of expressions. But he said that this much expressions are not required.
Then he said that he needs few actors. But we have to pay money..The shooting would be at Coimbatore or something..They said that if we come up with ten thousand rupees we can act. Since I was not interested to pay money to act, I slowly moved out.
I stopped there. From then on, the desire to climb into the layers of magical big screen disappeared.
It is a delusion.
Even today, many young people want to, but by the time one gets a break, young men become old.
Have a nice day everyone.